Who Dat?

My lovely wife, Stephanie, was born and raised in New Orleans. Most of her family still lives there. As do many of her friends that she grew up with. Steffi, having lived in the Atlanta area for the past 30 or so years has no accent that would reveal her upbringing. She now has the typical Atlanta accent, a cross between Southern and whatever. Being an English major in college, she uses correct grammer which would confuse most people as to her topographical heritage. I still have enough Texan from my 20+ years in Houston to tickle her sensibilities from time to time. The word "can't" sends her into fits of laughter, which I apparently pronounce, "caynt", like every good Texan. I did get rid of "flustrated" permanently from my lexicon, after the 20th or 30th time being told that the word doesn't exist.

Which brings me to purpose of my story. There is a chance we'll be moving to Steffi's hometown of New Orleans due to there being construction going on there, unlike any other metropolitan area in the world. That's a chance for me to keep building stuff. My main concern is not job-related. It's how I'll fit in. You see, I can't even decide how to say "New Orleans". For some residents there, it's pronounced "Nu Ahliyans". For others, it's "Nu Orleeyans". It is never, ever pronounced like it is in many parts of our country, "Nu Or-Leans". My point is, if I can't even pronounce the name of the city, how am I ever going to fit in?

There are many more challenges awaiting the newcomer. The entire geography is a challenge. There's Uptown, Downtown, Metairie, etc. to contend with. When asked by a prospective employer where we'll be living, I'll have no idea what to say, even if I already live somewhere. Maybe I'll just nod and laugh, like the Chinese do when they have absolutely no idea what someone is talking about. Maybe we'll just rent a dorm room at Tulane and then I can spin that little question right back to them. "Are you familiar with the area around Tulane"?, I'll query. That should shut them up.

Finally, being a tepid sports fan, I know I'll have to take sides. I did when I spent four years in the the RTP in North Carolina (Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill). After being in a tornado of rival sentiments for about a year, I became a fan of Duke basketball. That alienanted half of my friends there. Of course, in Nu Ahleyans, not being from there, I can just plead ignorance and tell everybody I went to a "football-less" college in Atlanta. That might just provide some sympathetic grunts. The real test will come during professional football season. Sorry, I don't care a whit about pro basketball.

I hear Steffi talking to her brother, Parke on the telephone about the Saints. They always sign off with "who dat"? Scratching my head, I asked the first time I heard it, "who's who?", or "who's what?" My wife looked at me like I'd lost my mind so I just smiled, nodded and laughed so as not to be taken for a complete idiot. Honestly, I still don't know what that term means. It seems that if it was strictly translated, it would be "Who's that?" Which then would raise the question, "who the hell are you talking about?" Is it a player? The owner? A secret code about someone blown away in Katrina? The very first thing I'll have to do when arriving, if it works out that way, will be to steal away secretly, wandering the streets of Nu Ahleyans, asking just what "Who Dat" means.

It could be worse. If I were to move for New York, say, and someone came up and asked: "HowaboutdemYankees"? To which I would have to reply, "Who gives a crap?" I'm sure a fist fight would ensue. To get in a street brawl your first few days in your new city would be quite embarrassing. I'll be very careful in Nu Ahleyans to ask my questions with aplomb.