Whatever one's political beliefs, last night was an epochal moment in history for every American. I watched in awe as our country elected an African-American to the highest office in the land. As a white, southern-born and raised male, it was almost surreal to watch the night unfold. In my wildest dreams, growing up in the South, I could never have imagined this happening. As a teenager, I was gripped in fear as my parents suggested that the race riots in Newark and Watts were coming soon to a city near me. My father bought a shotgun, thinking he needed more firepower in the coming race war. Sleep was more fitful in those times.
Fast-forward to last night. I am now the age my parents were in the turbulent sixties. What a journey! It will difficult to manage one's expectations in the wake of this event. On both sides of the equation, from conservative fears of a socialist state to liberal dreams of a Utopian society, we must recognize what has happened and try to believe the rhetoric of the President-elect, insist he live up to his words. For those that hate others because of the color of their skin, there will be no solace. For those whose hysterical joy knows no bounds, there will be disappointment. Even this sweeping victory does not spell the end to the systemic dysfunction in our economy. Even an electoral mandate does not remove the dangers we face in a world fraught with enemies that possess an inbred hatred of this country. Even with one party in control of the administrative and legislative branches, we will not erase the fractious nature of our arguments nor will it bring European Socialism to America.
We face sobering challenges in this country over the next decade. They will not be easily solved and the unexpected will continue to complicate the process. This morning, despite our fear or joy, the world is still the world.
We all will watch closely over the next couple of months at how the new regime picks the players that will shape Washington's course for the new administration. The selections that President Obama makes will themselves tell us how he will lead. The proposed legislation after the inauguration should also give us a pretty clear picture of which priorities the new President and Congress will foster during the next four years. And of course, the markets, allies and enemies will make their statements as well.
If, as the President-elect has stated, we must all push ourselves to contribute more to improve the long-term prospects for our country, then we individually should escape our comfort zones and find new ways to contribute to our neighborhoods and our communities. In the end, the future is more about how we each react to the challenges confronting us personally than it is about waiting helplessly for the government to bless or curse us. In fact, we realize that it has always been that way. What we do each day and how we view our world, as a place of great opportunity or as a place of fear and trembling, is far more important to the tenor of our lives than hiding in unrealistic fear or resting in false hopes.
Now that we've symbolically healed the American divisions surrounding race, let's focus on the real challenge: making a commitment of giving more of ourselves to others around us and most importantly, finding how we can be part of the solution, not part of the problem.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Reverse Osmosis
For everyone that pines for the days of the 1950's, when America was overwhelmingly white (you know, the blacks knew their place and the only Mexicans we knew of picked fruit and vegetables on the West Coast), I have good news. There's a reverse Exodus from America by the Latino. With a severe recession upon us, construction at a standstill, the travel industry imploding with the result of empty hotels and vacant restaurants at dinner time, the work for the undocumented worker is drying up. With it, employment opportunities for the unskilled and semi-skilled laborer are scarce.
Insofar as the draw to America for most Latino immigrants in the first place was that they could make money here and send it back to Latin America for their family's support, they have gone home, in droves. My Latino construction workers tell me that no less than half of their workers have gone back to their home country. The dynamic of our money going south at first raises the specter of someone "stealing" our currency. The reality is, this practice has helped stabilize the economies of our neighbors in Latin America to the extent that while Mexico, for instance, struggles to push its economy into the 21st century, the influx of dollars into the Mexican economy reduced the poverty of its citizenry thus providing more time and cushion for political remedies to take effect. This cushion is now gone. The global recession south of the border in most countries will be far more severe than we will suffer.
From many, the exodus of Latinos will raise cheers. These might be the same people who use the "n" word to describe African-Americans. True, these might also be patriots who seek the same modicum of security that most of our allies in the West enjoy. Who knows the hearts of our friends and neighbors? For those of us that depend on Latino labor, it is chilling. What most people who don't run a business fail to realize is that the American worker has long since abandoned the residential construction trades due to the Hispanic workers. Long ago, the labor necessary to run the food and travel industry became almost exclusively foreign. There are simply not very many legal Americans left to do this type of work. More disheartening, in truth, Americans simply do not want to do menial labor. Despite the influx of East Europeans and South Africans into the industry, the available labor shortfall, upon any restoration of a normal economy, will be dire.
I am not promoting illegal immigration, but taking the pragmatic view that if we, as Americans, are serious about sealing our borders, then we must be prepared to see the prices associated with home building rise, even as home values continue to drift. Paying 20% to 30% more for the same home built today, tomorrow, will not be a pleasant side-effect of closing off the Rio Grand River. With rising commodity prices, coupled with a significant increase in labor costs, we will see new home prices surge, complicating the solutions to a battered housing industry. If builders aren't selling $300k homes now, how will they, in a depressed market, be able to sell the same home for $375k? Will we rejoice when a hotel room costs $50. more per night when we travel? There are literally hundreds of examples of how this labor shortage will affect the price of everything we buy.
I hear many friends concede, grudgingly, that they will have to pay more in taxes to help dig ourselves out of the current economic malaise. I wonder if they will understand what is behind paying so much more for their new houses or hotel rooms during a severe recession? I suspect every American wants the ideal of the secure border. I like that concept if for no other reason than it makes sense in a dangerous world to know who is in your neighborhood. While there is no easy answer, I do have faith that in an era when everything is on the table politically, we can find the right mix of patriotism, security and generosity. I heard an awful comment the other day that when GM goes bankrupt, maybe we could retrain automotive workers to swing a hammer or change sheets. Not really that funny, is it?
Insofar as the draw to America for most Latino immigrants in the first place was that they could make money here and send it back to Latin America for their family's support, they have gone home, in droves. My Latino construction workers tell me that no less than half of their workers have gone back to their home country. The dynamic of our money going south at first raises the specter of someone "stealing" our currency. The reality is, this practice has helped stabilize the economies of our neighbors in Latin America to the extent that while Mexico, for instance, struggles to push its economy into the 21st century, the influx of dollars into the Mexican economy reduced the poverty of its citizenry thus providing more time and cushion for political remedies to take effect. This cushion is now gone. The global recession south of the border in most countries will be far more severe than we will suffer.
From many, the exodus of Latinos will raise cheers. These might be the same people who use the "n" word to describe African-Americans. True, these might also be patriots who seek the same modicum of security that most of our allies in the West enjoy. Who knows the hearts of our friends and neighbors? For those of us that depend on Latino labor, it is chilling. What most people who don't run a business fail to realize is that the American worker has long since abandoned the residential construction trades due to the Hispanic workers. Long ago, the labor necessary to run the food and travel industry became almost exclusively foreign. There are simply not very many legal Americans left to do this type of work. More disheartening, in truth, Americans simply do not want to do menial labor. Despite the influx of East Europeans and South Africans into the industry, the available labor shortfall, upon any restoration of a normal economy, will be dire.
I am not promoting illegal immigration, but taking the pragmatic view that if we, as Americans, are serious about sealing our borders, then we must be prepared to see the prices associated with home building rise, even as home values continue to drift. Paying 20% to 30% more for the same home built today, tomorrow, will not be a pleasant side-effect of closing off the Rio Grand River. With rising commodity prices, coupled with a significant increase in labor costs, we will see new home prices surge, complicating the solutions to a battered housing industry. If builders aren't selling $300k homes now, how will they, in a depressed market, be able to sell the same home for $375k? Will we rejoice when a hotel room costs $50. more per night when we travel? There are literally hundreds of examples of how this labor shortage will affect the price of everything we buy.
I hear many friends concede, grudgingly, that they will have to pay more in taxes to help dig ourselves out of the current economic malaise. I wonder if they will understand what is behind paying so much more for their new houses or hotel rooms during a severe recession? I suspect every American wants the ideal of the secure border. I like that concept if for no other reason than it makes sense in a dangerous world to know who is in your neighborhood. While there is no easy answer, I do have faith that in an era when everything is on the table politically, we can find the right mix of patriotism, security and generosity. I heard an awful comment the other day that when GM goes bankrupt, maybe we could retrain automotive workers to swing a hammer or change sheets. Not really that funny, is it?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
An Open Letter to My Family
This will be the last unsolicited blog I send to the family. I hope somehow Steve gets a copy of this. If you wish to receive my future sophomoric meanderings, you'll have to request it. I know that to some, it will be just one more nuisance email that has to be deleted, along with the barrage of unsolicited tripe that bombards our computers. That's why I want this missive to say everything I have to say about family. If, in the end, it results in my family being constituted only by my loving wife and daughter, then so be it.
I moved to Houston years ago for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was because I was suffocating. The constant familial infighting, the soul-draining drama and endless intrigue was just too much for me to endure. The move west saved me. I put myself in a sink-or-swim condition and through my own mistakes and accomplishments, became my own person, impervious to the black hole that my family's relationships created.
I believe there is a misconception among most people that family, right or wrong, is family and it must be preserved at all costs. That's a foolish notion. Though in child-rearing I think it's important to expose a child to its extended family for the sense of security and belonging, the child is the most important issue. If a family, per se, represents a greater harm because of their behavior to the proper development of the child, then I believe it is incumbent on the parent to keep the child from being exposed to a family or member of that family that breeds negativity and/or sets a poor example.
Further, a healthy relationship is a far more important goal in life, whether it be family, friend, student or teacher, than any fanciful notion of cherishing relationships with someone simply because they possess similar DNA.
One of the greatest things about being in Houston was that every person I met was potentially a healthy relationship that could be built on, and the fabric of a new life spreading out before me each day filled me with promise. The incessant drumming of family plots, wounds, infighting, slights - real or imagined, moral outrage, it was all gone!
When a so-called family is dysfunctional to the point that it poisons the lives of everyone in it, it's time to either succumb to the attendent slow death or take action and remove oneself from it. I chose the latter and have not regretted it for a single instant. There is no implied blame in this statement. Whether one family member did or didn't do what they should have, or someone was most responsible for the seeds of all of the dysfunction is completely immaterial. At some point, each member of the family has to make their own decision to do what's necessary to lift themselves out of the morass, assume responsibility for their own lives, and in my case, continue to love while refusing to become sucked back in to the dysfunction. Each person is responsible only for their behavior and their reaction to the behavior of others. In the case of the good, bad and ugly of those around me, I choose to get over it and move on. I'm not going to carry that weight.
Whether or not a parent was or wasn't the ideal role model, a sibling did or didn't behave as I wished, a dream of an Ozzie and Harriet world did or didn't come true is a waste of precious emotional and intellectual energy. Sooner or later, one must wake up and realize that the precious gift of life is fleeting, that we all must elect each day to love or not, give or not, challenge ourselves to get out of our comfort zone and contribute to the planet or simply wallow in our self-pity and resentments for the balance of our time here.
We cannot change the way others behave. They are what and who they are and we either choose to love them, or not. There is a miraculous spiritual law of the universe that affords us great comfort: If we love, it never returns void. If we forgive, then we are forgiven. If we show mercy, mercy is shown to us. This is not real complicated. Unconditional love is never restricted to what a parent feels for a child. It is an action that we elect to take, or not to take.
I have made awful mistakes in my life, some of which involve family members. I have asked, and ask again now for forgiveness. I cannot change those mistakes, but I do own them and take responsibility for the consequences for my actions. I harbor no ill will toward anyone, largely because of the example I try and follow of my Dad's feelings for his entire family. No action of any of his loved ones changed his love for them. Immediately upon confession of a wrongdoing, he forgot it. But, like me, he was fiercely protective of his loved ones. As am I. If others harbor ill will towards me, then that is their cancer-of-the-soul to endure. Not mine.
Finally, I know terrible things about family members, some of it directed at me, some of it at other family members, some at themselves. It is already forgiven and I have moved on. I can only suggest that others do the same. If not, that's for them to live with. I cannot and will not participate in the high drama that still seems to rear its ugly head from time to time in this family. If that means certain members of my birth family will not be in Stephanie's, Emily's or my life, so be it. I want to be helpful to anyone in trouble but as for an ongoing relationship, I'm not interested in being around persons, family, friends or acquaintances that choose to see everything through the prism of "if you behave differently than I wish, then you are a bad person". Life is way too short. Whether the reader takes this personally or philosophically is entirely up to them. This is not directed at anyone in particular but I felt once and for all, if anyone cares to understand my beliefs, you now know them.
Our home is always open.
I moved to Houston years ago for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was because I was suffocating. The constant familial infighting, the soul-draining drama and endless intrigue was just too much for me to endure. The move west saved me. I put myself in a sink-or-swim condition and through my own mistakes and accomplishments, became my own person, impervious to the black hole that my family's relationships created.
I believe there is a misconception among most people that family, right or wrong, is family and it must be preserved at all costs. That's a foolish notion. Though in child-rearing I think it's important to expose a child to its extended family for the sense of security and belonging, the child is the most important issue. If a family, per se, represents a greater harm because of their behavior to the proper development of the child, then I believe it is incumbent on the parent to keep the child from being exposed to a family or member of that family that breeds negativity and/or sets a poor example.
Further, a healthy relationship is a far more important goal in life, whether it be family, friend, student or teacher, than any fanciful notion of cherishing relationships with someone simply because they possess similar DNA.
One of the greatest things about being in Houston was that every person I met was potentially a healthy relationship that could be built on, and the fabric of a new life spreading out before me each day filled me with promise. The incessant drumming of family plots, wounds, infighting, slights - real or imagined, moral outrage, it was all gone!
When a so-called family is dysfunctional to the point that it poisons the lives of everyone in it, it's time to either succumb to the attendent slow death or take action and remove oneself from it. I chose the latter and have not regretted it for a single instant. There is no implied blame in this statement. Whether one family member did or didn't do what they should have, or someone was most responsible for the seeds of all of the dysfunction is completely immaterial. At some point, each member of the family has to make their own decision to do what's necessary to lift themselves out of the morass, assume responsibility for their own lives, and in my case, continue to love while refusing to become sucked back in to the dysfunction. Each person is responsible only for their behavior and their reaction to the behavior of others. In the case of the good, bad and ugly of those around me, I choose to get over it and move on. I'm not going to carry that weight.
Whether or not a parent was or wasn't the ideal role model, a sibling did or didn't behave as I wished, a dream of an Ozzie and Harriet world did or didn't come true is a waste of precious emotional and intellectual energy. Sooner or later, one must wake up and realize that the precious gift of life is fleeting, that we all must elect each day to love or not, give or not, challenge ourselves to get out of our comfort zone and contribute to the planet or simply wallow in our self-pity and resentments for the balance of our time here.
We cannot change the way others behave. They are what and who they are and we either choose to love them, or not. There is a miraculous spiritual law of the universe that affords us great comfort: If we love, it never returns void. If we forgive, then we are forgiven. If we show mercy, mercy is shown to us. This is not real complicated. Unconditional love is never restricted to what a parent feels for a child. It is an action that we elect to take, or not to take.
I have made awful mistakes in my life, some of which involve family members. I have asked, and ask again now for forgiveness. I cannot change those mistakes, but I do own them and take responsibility for the consequences for my actions. I harbor no ill will toward anyone, largely because of the example I try and follow of my Dad's feelings for his entire family. No action of any of his loved ones changed his love for them. Immediately upon confession of a wrongdoing, he forgot it. But, like me, he was fiercely protective of his loved ones. As am I. If others harbor ill will towards me, then that is their cancer-of-the-soul to endure. Not mine.
Finally, I know terrible things about family members, some of it directed at me, some of it at other family members, some at themselves. It is already forgiven and I have moved on. I can only suggest that others do the same. If not, that's for them to live with. I cannot and will not participate in the high drama that still seems to rear its ugly head from time to time in this family. If that means certain members of my birth family will not be in Stephanie's, Emily's or my life, so be it. I want to be helpful to anyone in trouble but as for an ongoing relationship, I'm not interested in being around persons, family, friends or acquaintances that choose to see everything through the prism of "if you behave differently than I wish, then you are a bad person". Life is way too short. Whether the reader takes this personally or philosophically is entirely up to them. This is not directed at anyone in particular but I felt once and for all, if anyone cares to understand my beliefs, you now know them.
Our home is always open.
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