Carnival, a.k.a. Mardi Gras

I won't bore you with a history of Mardi Gras (translated "Fat Tuesday") except to say that around the world, it's often called Carnival. On our continent, it started in Mobile, Alabama, then the capital of "Louisiane". As the capital of Louisiane moved to Biloxi and finally to New Orleans, this lovely party followed as well. Carnival all started as a Catholic tradition set up to allow the faithful to practice all manner of debauchery prior to Ash Wednesday. Since you can hide your identity wearing masks and costumes, it didn't take the Protestants long to catch on, either. If one were to count the Catholics in New Orleans on Fat Tuesday, there would probably be 11 or 12. The rest are Baptists trying to see if the Bible verse: "sin is fun for a season;" holds any merit. Just kidding.

I have been to New Orleans dozens of times but never during Mardi Gras. In a week or so from now, I get my opportunity. My wife, who grew up in New Orleans, has stationed us among her family in the more sedate setting "uptown", though the party in the Quarter is the one tourists see on television. The French Quarter is where you see the wild and wacky behavior of masked revelers as seen on "Cops". To get arrested during Mardi Gras in New Orleans, it would seem you would have to be naked, spewing fire, and holding a bovine sacrifice on Bourbon Street. The Cops in New Orleans have a finely developed sense of humor. Most of the males in the French Quarter will not be paying any attention to pagan rituals around them, as they will be looking up at the balconies full of women, shouting: "Show us your mammary glands", or something similar.

The parades are put on by "krewes", which are basically clubs of people that need an excuse to get out of work for weeks at a time. Krewes actually do a lot of good for the community, and are rewarded by being able to test their liver function and moral center during Carnival. The krewes build floats. The floats have people who throw stuff at you. I am going to wear safety goggles. My wife tells me that years ago, a lot of thought was put into what was thrown off the floats. Now, it's mostly cheap candy, plastic beads, doubloons & stuffed animals. It still pays to catch the trinkets though. I think you get extra drinks if you have the most junk hung around your neck, or stuffed in your pockets, later in the day. I need to ask my wife about that one.

While the bacchanalian tourists are littering the Quarter with their bodies, the locals are holding all types of Balls and rituals that most of the rest of America forgot a century ago. Debutantes enter society with all the fanfare of the Antebellum South. It is really a site to behold. I attended some of the Society functions last year and these people do it up right. My niece-by-marriage, Betsy Ellis, was crowned Queen of Osiris. The entire evening was like being on the set of a Hollywood movie. I felt, despite my misgivings, that it was a spectacular tradition that's lost on the rest of the country. I can't say too much, as males at this point are supposed to grimace, roll their eyes and grunt. I certainly don't want to look out of place.

In reality, Mardi Gras among the locals has nothing to do with the images the media airs from the French Quarter. Those are tourists, mostly kids on Spring Break, drawn to the media images. The parades, floats and other fun are not even in the French Quarter. They're in the neighborhoods of the locals and it's good clean fun for any age group. With apologies to any New Orleanians that read this and find errors, I am looking forward to being there.